The Facts About...
Orgasms contribute to the release of chemicals in the brain during and after sex. These chemicals are - Prolactin (relieves sexual arousal after orgasm), Ocytocin (helps with intensity of orgasm and encourages connection and connectedness), Endorphins (feelings of wellbeing, euphoria, pleasure, calming and relaxing), Adrenaline (increases blood flow, feelings of exhilaration), Dopamine (feelings of bliss, attraction and excitement), Serotonin (feelings of contentment, balanced, cheerful). What a great way to have a great workout and receive a natural healthy mind/body boost.
- Some females (regardless of age) can experience difficulty achieving orgasm.
- It is estimated 1 in 3 women can experience this.
- Around 80% of women do not achieve orgasm solely by penile penetration alone.
- Female orgasms are for your own sexual pleasure.
- Most women experience orgasm via clitoral stimulation.
- Some women can experience orgasm via erogenous zones and sexual stimulation of these different body parts.
- Some women can spontaneously orgasm (though this is not common).
Achieving orgasm is a learned experience unique to yourself. Women can tend to take longer to orgasm than men. Some women can have an orgasm within 2 mins some can take up to 20–30mins. Within these spectrums and longer periods’ women will vary from times and frequencies. Again this is individual. I would also like to mention if you have never experienced orgasm but still enjoy a happy and fulfilling sexual life and you are ok with this then that’s fine to. Difficulties experiencing orgasm can be due to physical health, psychological health, addictions, diabetes, heart disorders, medications, alcohol, recreational drugs, tiredness, stress and performance anxiety.
Erectile Dysfunction and Male Orgasm
- Erectile Dysfunction is the inability to keep and maintain an erection at any age.
- Premature ejaculation around 38% of men can experience this. Premature ejaculation can be associated with psychological concerns, performance anxiety and the beginning of a new relationship. Premature ejaculation if present from the beginning of your sexual activity is considered a primary disorder.
- Retrograde ejaculation is when ejaculation of semen at orgasm is ejaculated into the bladder rather than through the penis.
- Delayed ejaculation also called inhibited ejaculation. This can happen with older men due to ageing, diabetes or side effects of some anti-depressants. In men at any age this may be due to emotional concerns.
All of these concerns can be exacerbated by physical health, psychological health, addictions, diabetes, heart disorders, medications, alcohol, recreational drug use, tiredness, stress, performance anxiety and learned techniques.
Sexual Desire (Libido) in Men and Women
Men and women can experience differences in Libido (sexual desire) at any age.
This can be contributed to -
Hormone levels, age, relationship difficulties, differences in opinions about what is considered normal sexual desire, health , medications, recreational drug and alcohol use and the inability to sexualise your relationship. The overuse of porn or masturbation, menopause, childbirth, pregnancy, fear of the sex act Genophobia (either acquired or a primary concern), erotophobia (any fear that is related to sexuality) and the inability to connect intimately.
Sexual play – can encompass (erotica, BDSM, role playing, anal play, the use of sexual pleasure enhancers e.g. sex toys or any other of the many and varied types of play available). It is advisable to enquire about any form of Sexual Play you are thinking about embarking upon. Knowledge and education around sexual play is advisable.
Always use water based lubricants when using any form of latex rubber (condom use) and with the assistance of sexual pleasure. Lubricants alleviate dryness, enhance sensitivity, increases sexual pleasure is non-sticky and ok if swallowed (if it is naturally based). Naturally based lubricants contain no petrochemicals (glycols or parabens) colours, sugars and flavours to avoid allergies. Always read the bottle when purchasing to make sure any ingredients used are suitable to your own personal health, needs and wellbeing.
Male Latex Condoms. These are available either natural, flavoured, textured or coloured. They come in all sizes to suit most penises. These provide protection from pregnancy, bacteria and STI’s. Always use water based lubricants when using condoms. Female Latex Condoms. These are to be inserted into the vagina prior to penile penetration. Female condoms protect the vagina, penis or sex toy from infections, bacteria and pregnancy. It offers an alternative to the male condom. Always use water based lubricants when using condoms.
Dental dams are square thin pieces of latex. Dental dams are used for oral vaginal or oral anal sex. Dental dams can help prevent STI’s during oral sex by keeping vaginal and anal fluids that contain bacteria and viruses away from the mouth.
Sex addiction can be described as a compulsion or the loss of free will to stop with a continued sexual behaviour. Sex Addiction can manifest in many ways. It can lead to obsession about a particular thought or action. Whole days or hours can be spent with continual sexual thoughts, trying to find new ways of obtaining sex, thus allowing these behaviours to infiltrate into their personal lives and create quite a disruption for themselves and family members. When addiction is taken too far the result can have a negative impact on people’s lives. Withdrawal from family and life to pursue sexual activity can lead to the neglecting of family and partners leaving. Losses of money, family, career are just some of the consequences that can result from sexual addiction. Most importantly though is the harm that it is doing to yourself and the realization that you can’t stop this destructive behaviour. Sex addiction can happen to either men or women it doesn’t discriminate. Sex Therapy can help with this behaviour.
Pornography addiction is diagnosed when an individual engages in the overuse or abuse of pornography to the extent that they experience negative consequences. Porn addiction is a "process whereby a behaviour, that can function both to produce pleasure and to provide escape from internal discomfort, [and] is employed in a pattern characterized by (1) failure to control the behaviour (powerlessness) and (2) continuation of the behaviour despite significant negative consequences (unmanageability).
Pornography addiction is defined, as a dependence upon pornography characterized by obsessive viewing, reading, and thinking about pornography and sexual themes to the detriment of other areas of life.
Painful sex for women may be the result of Dyspareunia. There may be a few contributing factors and reasons for this to be happening. Dyspareunia is painful sexual intercourse, due to medical or psychological causes. The symptom is reported almost exclusively by women, although the problem can also occur in men. The causes are often reversible, even when long-standing, but self-perpetuating pain is a factor after the original cause has been removed. It is a common condition that affects up to one-fifth of women at some point in their lives.
This is the result of a reflex of the puboccygeus muscle, which is sometimes referred to as the "PC muscle". The reflex causes the muscles in the vagina to tense suddenly, which makes any kind of vaginal penetration—including sexual intercourse—painful or impossible. A woman suffering from vaginismus does not consciously control the spasm.
The vaginismic reflex can be compared to the response of the eye shutting when an object comes towards it. The severity of vaginismus and the pain during penetration, including sexual penetration, varies from woman to woman.
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