Wet and Wild - Female Ejaculation
"sometimes it's just a little trickle, other times a whole cup's worth or more can come out."
We’re lucky we live in a post-Sex and The City society. Thanks to those chatty ladies, we can pretty much talk about anything with our girlfriends these days, which is exactly why the previously taboo subject of female ejaculation is no longer contained to the computer screens of horny guys, or storylines on Califonication. As more women experience it for themselves, the more others want to know ... WTF is it?!
Female ejaculation (aka "squirting" or "gushing") is when a woman expels fluid as she reaches a climax during sexual activity. "All women have a prostate, just like men," explains sex therapist Pamela Supple from sextherapyaustralia.com.au. "It's within the area known as the G-spot (also known as the urethral sponge), and when this zone is stimulated, it produces fluid made up of PAP (Prostate-specific Acid Phosphatase), PSA (Prostate-specific Antigen), fructose and glucose - sometimes it's just a little trickle of it, other times a whole cup's worth or more can come out."
go with the flow
Ever been getting down and dirty and had the sudden urge to pee? It most likely wasn't your bladder sending you that message. "It's an area very close to the bladder, and the fluid comes out of the urethra as well, just like pee. So it gives you that same feeling of urgency, but it definitely isn't urine," reassures Supple. Many girls inadvertently suppress the fluid because they're worried they're going to wet themselves at arguably the most awkward time ever. "If you want to achieve female ejaculation, it's important that you let go of this fear and relax. You need to be absolutely comfortable in the situation and with your partner, otherwise your body just won't let you do it."
Samara, 22, initially realised she could ejaculate when she was in her very first relationship a few years ago. "It actually happened a couple of months after we started dating ... I felt really comfortable with him," she recalls. "It was during oral sex - I had an intense orgasm with what felt like a huge release, and then he told me what really happened." Samara has been able to squirt quite regularly ever since, but only when she's 100 per cent comfortable with the person. "Most of the time, guys are really happy when it happens. Others seem a bit shocked."
Lisa, 26, finds it often occurs when she's on top of her boyfriend during sex. "That's the position that hits the G-spot the most for me, so it generally happens then," she says. "He sees it as some great victory when I do it. It's great for me, because if it doesn't eventuate, it makes him work a bit harder next time!"
A lot of guys are incredibly turned on by female ejaculation - it's a unique experience for them, plus it gives them a visual confirmation that what they're doing is right, because they know you'renot faking! "My boyfriend really wants me to do it," says Lucy, 24. "He's read stuff online about how to make it work, but I'm a little sceptical. I've never been able to, but he says everyone can." As Supple puts it, "If you're not into it, it's not going to happen. Some women aren't educated about it yet and it scares them off, but it's something so unique that just feels very good. It really is the ultimate release."
how to make a splash
The first step to experiencing female ejaculation is to get educated. Read books and go online – sex therapist Deborah Sundahl has a book (Female Ejaculation & The G-Spot, Hunter House, $37.95) and a website (deborahsundahl.com) dedicated to helping women learn about the topic.
Go forth and explore! Get familiar with your own vagina – there’s a whole lot going on down there. Or, let your partner assist you in finding your G-Spot by testing out what feels good and what doesn’t.
When its time to put your new found knowledge to work, go to the toilet beforehand. “Knowing that you have an empty bladder helps you let go – without the fear of having an accident!” says Supple
“The key points to remember are to be comfortable, feel safe and relax,” says Supple. “With any form for female orgasm. You need to be able to just release and really let it happen.”
Oh and ensure you lay a towel down. If it’s a success, you’ll want to bask in the afterglow… not a wet mattress!
Article from "Cleo" - Wet and Wild - September 2011