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Why the sex is hot when he is not

cleo.msn.co.nz

What happens when you find yourself in bed with the ‘nice guy’? The one who has never owned a chesty singlet, or thinks that ‘BMI’ (Body Mass Index) is the name of an 80s rock band?

You could be forgiven for assuming the sex will be as average as their appearance but you may find what they lack in the looks department, makes them better in the bedroom department.

And the sexperts agree, “It’s great when you experience immediate attraction and the sex can be awesome, animalistic and raw,” says Sex and Relationship Therapist Pamela Supple, “but sex can become just as great overtime, even if it’s not immediate”.

Here a few reasons we shouldn’t be so quick to overlook the average-looking man in the bedroom department.

It's an odds game

Let’s face it, dating is a game of odds. So a man who isn’t blessed with Channing Tatum’s good looks will have a harder time getting a woman in to bed. This stands to reason that when they do find themselves in a horizontal position they would be more appreciative and attentive.

“Hopefully all men are attentive in bed, regardless, but the idea of being considered a great lover, can be a great ego booster, and motivator, for some men,” says Supple.

Compensating for lack of muscles

While a man with a rocking body may feel this is foreplay enough, your ‘Mr Average’ might feel he needs to compensate for this. Perhaps you won’t notice his un-toned bottom if he distracts you with endless foreplay.

“Pleasing a woman is about knowing how to push her buttons sexually, appreciating her body and doing what’s enjoyable and comes naturally” says Supple

He won’t be distracted by his own hotness

This down-to-earth-man will be able to focus 100 percent of his concentration on your body, watching your reactions and reading your body language – which is, after all, the ingredients for great sex.

“Remember when we have sex it’s not all about poses and hair fixing, it’s about letting loose and getting hot, steamy and sweaty with your partner,” says Supple.

There’s less risk he’s slept with your friends

Give the guy a break. Of course he has had sex before, but are you really going to be concerned with how many times? If you don’t want to become another notch on the handsome mans’ belt, consider the less obvious, more reserved, type.

“Attention and effort are just as important as experience, knowledge and sexual education,” explains Supple. “Experience will only get you so far. It’s how you use your sexual knowledge that’s key”.

They will talk you up not down

All men talk to each other. So when the topic of sex comes up, you can trust your ‘Mr. Humble’ will be telling all his friends how amazing you are, not how easy you were.

“When men talk about the number of sexual partners they’ve had, it may represent to them that this equals being a great lover, a ‘Don Juan’,” says Supple. “However, hopefully as men mature, they won’t feel the need to boast about numbers and conquests” says Supple.

Back to basics – fun flirting

All women know, what some men ignore, if you really want to turn a woman on, engage her mind. ‘Mr. Batting Above’ will be going the extra mile by whispering sweet nothings and wanting to know more than just your freckled skin.

“He can make you feel special and comfortable in his company by taking a genuine interest in who you are,” says Supple.

More intimate time

Admittedly most of us like a man that looks after himself but if you don’t like sharing your bathroom, perhaps ‘Mr. No Fuss’ will make a better companion. Besides, less time spent in the bathroom means more time in the bedroom.

“Putting aside quality time for sex has to become a priority,” advises Supple. “Constantly being concerned with ones appearance, in any form, is time consuming and can take away from this”.

So ladies, the next time you meet ‘Mr. Average’, don’t be so quick to dismiss this shy, unassuming man. You might be missing out on a fabulous sex life.

cleo.msn.co.nz